trenchant

about what I know and what interests me

My Surgery Experience – Pain, Delirium, Fun!

I’m just back from my first personal experience with what is called a modern day ‘Surgery’. I experienced something so intriguing that I decided to write about it before it fades away into a distant memory.

The experience is special for many reasons: One because I never stayed in a hospital before. Two the surgery was to be done to a special part of my body, that’s a top secret you’d know only if you read this post till the end!!

So, there I was at 7AM in the morning on a fine Monday morning, nil-by-mouth (not meant to have even water) for what is called the Minor Surgery Profiling ( I hope I got this right!). To demystify, its to test and make sure that my body was eligible to be cut open and sealed back as one piece!!

First was the Blood Test, not just the Complete Blood Picture but also to note how long blood flew (bleeding time, would be betn. 2 n 5 mins) out of my pointing finger and how long it took to clot (clotting time, would be betn. 3 to 7 mins)

This was followed by the ECG, i.e., to see if my heart followed the pulse it is supposed to! The first time I had gotten this done was when I joined TCS. The experience is inevitably very funny. They put some conductive gel at various places on your chest and the limbs. And then stick the vacuum held sensors. Every time they’re adjusted, they make that weird sucking sound, I could not help laughing and the nurse could not help thinking me funny!

Then was a more funnier one, the x-ray of the chest. I was prepared to lie on the x-ray table and thought it would be some kinda light that’d pass thru. Instead, he made me stand against a wall (the x-ray film enclosed in a case, separated me and the wall) and went to make some adjustments…I thought. But he said ‘done’. What? already? The X-ray experience did not let me explore more there!

Soon there after I was asked to check-in for the day. Okay in hospital terms, get admitted! I was to share the room with two other gentlemen (it was supposed to be just the two of them, but there they were….two complete Indian families, that would not stop chattering away!).

I was to be operated upon in the next hour so this guy came to prepare me. He brought me a green checkered gown to wear and almost scared me to death when he declared that he’s gonna clean me, with a shaving razor in his hand. eh?!! He shaved hair off my….wherever he thought necessary and unnecessary!!

Then came the famous looong and four wheeled vehicle….the Limousine, ah aa, but it was the stretcher. I pleaded I could rather walk to wherever they’d take me. The chauffeur said this was the only way to go to the OT (operation theater). Once there, I was docked to a corner in the corridor as though I was a train on a single track line and there was a crossing at this station!! After 10 odd minutes the other train arrived and crossed. Thank god.

There I was in the OT. Unlike what they show in the movies, this one was a small room with very less equipment (as much as I could see). I was put on the operation table and that’s when they realized…..that the table needed an extension to fit my height (okay, I was lying down so call it length!!). I wondered if the table was too short or they did not expect me to be long enough.

I was asked to relax and the procedure began after a delay. I was curious, alert and not really scared. First, they put cloth all over me except where they’d perform the surgery. The clothes felt fresh and warm out of the laundry drier. Then my doctor (Dear Mr. Dr. Jayanth) announced that he’d locally anesthetize and that I’d feel no pain. But hell, the anesthetizing injections hurt!!

And what I say here on would be about the most fascinating personal experience I’ve ever had with my body! The anesthesia seemed to have worked when the surgeon pricked at two different places and asked if it hurt. This was the moment I thought I was in complete awareness and I’d observe every little move by the team of Surgeons. The cuts were probably done by a laser (guessed from a burning smell, you see!) and then there were more cuts with blades (scalpels?). I shouted in all kinds of ways even at the hint of a little pain. Boy thanks a ton to the doctors, they noticed it every time and took care (probably did sth to reduce the pain right away). Now Dr.Jayanth was mentioning the ongoing procedures, it actually felt so good knowing whats happening. But know what… in a few minutes, the anesthesia probably got to my head and I was feeling sleepy like never before.

This was the experience I wanted to share the most. The situation was such that I could still feel what was happening and at the same time had a choice to simply sleep. If I wanted to be alert, I realized that I’d have to keep my eyes wide open, look around and probably talk. That was when I said “Whaaaasssuuuppp Jaaayaaannnth?” I was completely aware that my thoughts were at normal speed but my words were really really s–l–o–w! Dr.Jayanth said “we’re almost done, are you feeling sleepy?”. After probably three seconds I said ‘yeeaaaa‘ and funnily enough, like moma’s little kid, I asked “Dooctoor caaan aaai sleeeeep?” I don’t remembered if they all laughed at it but I sure was smiling 5 seconds later!

Then was when I started analyzing myself. After careful interrogation and investigation in my drowsy brains I concluded to myself that I was probably delirious. But at the same time I was very clearly aware that I was delirious! Funny eh?!! But so true, I’m sure 5 shots of tequila would not give me a feeling anywhere near to that. Delirium this was, my friends!

Then I could feel the stitches, I could not count but it pricked sometimes. I remember, I almost said “are you weaving something down there?” but I held back, feeling funny and lost. They put some cool icy liquid, that woke my senses by a wee bit. Then they plastered, packed it up and patted as though done!!

After yet another long railway crossing outside the OT, they got me out and I saw Dad waiting. I asked how long did it take. He said an hour and quarter! oh boy! I said I felt really funny within, I knew that I was slow. Dad gave me my phone while my Limousine was still driving me back. Funnily enough, the phone sprang open to show me an entirely new interface. I thought I was really fully hallucinating, or why would my phone look new. But an hour later out of curiosity I discovered that the phone got its auto-update and the interface was really new.

I SMSed all my friends, posted on FB and on Twitter. Felt normal again an hour later, with my specs on and after having water & dairy milk fruit and nut that Dad got me!!

So that folks, was the thrill, the pain, the delirium and the one-helluvan-experience of my surgery.

Please share your thoughts in the Comments section.


That was me just after I was back on bed

They gave at least half a dozen Frooti-tetra-pack-sized 'injections' in the next 10hrs. My hand drank it all from here!

PS:
Thanks a ton to Dr.Jayanth of Image Hospitals, Ameerpet, Hyd., for having been very positive and informative throughout the treatment. You made it look all that simple and easy.

And folks, I plan to write soon on:

1. Preparing for a Minor Surgery.

2. The Corporate Hospital Fuss.

3. Review on Image Hospitals Hyderabad.

Do remind me if I don’t. I cant be dreaming now!

9 Responses to “My Surgery Experience – Pain, Delirium, Fun!”

  1. Naresh says:

    Hey Dude …
    The “fine” Monday morning ….. for you ??

  2. Praneeth says:

    haha … This blog of urs can be quoted as THE FIRST to bore me. 😉

    coz … the terminology reminded me of school dayz Biological studies … lol

    🙂

    Ur’s
    Praneeth T

  3. Dr.Srinivas says:

    BTW, which part was the surgery performed on!!??

  4. Karteek says:

    yeh,

    I remember calling you on Monday afternoon, I think you were in half sleep. I remember studying about aneasthesia while we were in school. Now you had the practical session.

    Nice post buddy. In great detail and funny. The crossings thing, good.

    By the way where did they shave?

  5. Dr.Jayanth says:

    Thanxs for the positive comments.
    see u soon.

  6. Chandra says:

    🙂 great one ra… hospital experiences are one of the worsts things in life… I had my first kiss with anesthesia when I had my root canal done…

    well written… but you haven’t revealed on which part you were operated upon 🙂

    and may be you could have added why the surgery… I feel it’s making the post incomplete…

    waiting for other posts 🙂

  7. Geeta says:

    Hey bharath! this was so damn funny!!! i couldn’t stop rolling out laughing when i read abt ur delirious talking! that reminds me of my own experiences(had more than one full-body anesthesias) n its funnier than this! when it starts losing effect, u see and feel strange things, n sounds toh, OMG, I could hear hammers banging when some one was speaking around me…haa, like in 3-idiots hospital scene, the way that thin guy hears aamir’s voice…oh said too much i guess!

    • bharath reddy says:

      Haha! This was be one experience I’d remember all life. I don’t think any drinking would give you that kind of effect. It fun especially when you’re able to think well but your responses get really slow. Thanks for sharing your experience Geeta!

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